How often as a society do we only pay attention to the surface? What someone looks like? The title of an article, maybe the first few lines? The beginning of someone’s story until our attention turns to our phone? Who someone is on social media instead of taking the time to find out who they really are? What their occupation or political affiliation is? Where is our patience to go deeper? With depth there is real connection, vulnerability, and truth. We are not here for surface level, we are here for depth.
I am not my body. I love my body, that’s why I take care of it, I honor the vessel that holds this beautiful soul, but we are all so much more than that. Take the time to really SEE people, as we all really want to be seen.
We denounce an entire human with a mere swipe or passing glance, without knowing them at all.
You know what the most fucked up part is? That there is a part of me that bought that like a cheap product on amazon. There are times where it seems like my worth is directly correlated to my muscle definition or a number on a scale. It takes work to undo the unhealthy patterns of thought that society has sold to us but if we want to reach depth in our life and real connection we have to see beyond skin deep, we have to love what is underneath, because a beauty like that is timeless and can be felt when it enters the room.
A year ago the #metoo movement encouraged women to tell their stories of sexual abuse. A year later women are still sharing their stories.
I have heard a lot of amazing men listen, speak out, share, support, I have also heard a lot of anger, defensiveness, fear, & silence. The latter in some ways may ironically speak the loudest.
As human beings we need to have the courage to say the wrong thing. We make mistakes, we miscommunicate, we overreact, we fuck up. We are all just wandering this planet engaging in the human experience.
Women are setting boundaries and guess what? We don’t know what they are yet, we are still learning. Women have not always had this space. We are all just in a process of learning how to navigate it.
Women have stood up, and trust me, they are not going to sit back down.
Maybe you don’t like the way someone has phrased something, the way someone has responded to you, the post they shared, the way they generalized, well, women are also imperfect, we say the wrong thing, we fuck up. Women are angry, and for a change, we are taking up space.
We all need to be able to look beyond the cloud of swirling emotions of all genders & really hear each other. We need to look past the anger, the hurt, & we need to listen and start down a path of collective healing.
We won’t get anywhere without listening. We won’t find peace without meeting hurt with kindness and compassion. When someone is having a dramatic response, lean into that, be curious, ask questions, listen, like, really listen. Listen to their pain, their hurt, their experience, their ideas, their anger, listen to all of it, feel it.
Don’t discredit what they said, don’t minimize them, don’t try and prove them wrong, don’t try & tell them that you had the same experience or divert the conversation with your own issues, don’t ask them why they never mentioned it before. Just honor them and really hear them, we all deserve that.
I looked at the story I shared last year & thought, wow, there is a lot I haven’t shared. I thought of stories I have pushed back into the depths of my memories. Maybe I will share next week, in a year, when I am 35, maybe never. Whatever I decide is my choice.