We try to control everything around us. Weaving in and out of traffic as though we all haven't seen Office Space knowing all well how that ends... further behind or exactly where we started. Okay, maybe part of it is the Boston we can't get out of our veins but that doesn't make it any less stressful or any less futile. We do nothing but piss off everyone around us and bubble up with anger that builds up within ourselves. Maybe we are not exactly where we want to be in life-- we did not settle down as quick as all our friends, we are single watching everyone around us get married, we are married with kids and wish we traveled and enjoyed life more, we are stuck in a job that does not ignite that fiery passion within ourselves. Whatever the cause of discontent, we try desperately to control all aspects of all our external world. We ignore the most important piece--our attitude about where we are. We are exactly where we need to be. Wherever it is that you are it is exactly where you need to be to have had the experiences and learned the lessons that have made you who you are. Instead of trying to swim against the current and create an unnecessary struggle, why don't we flow with the natural processes that our perfect universe has set up for us. When we surrender and let go of struggle and surrender to the moment that is when we can find peace and freedom. There is a difference between being apathetic and going with the flow. Of course I can bring this back to surfing. When we try to control or conquer the wave we wipe out. When we listen to where the wave is going and put forth effort and energy to work with it, we can ride the wave beautifully. Be where you are. Surrender to this moment, to this life.
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Waking up knowing I am going to surf, a feeling overcomes my body-- in my gut. I feel a slight sinking feeling, not the kind of feeling like when you find out someone has betrayed you, or that something bad has just happened, but that feeling of fear and anticipation that you are about to do something that simultaneously scares you, thrills you, and brings you to your happy place, whatever, wherever that may be. Well for me its the ocean. I am most scared of it because I see in it characteristics that I most admire about myself as well as what most terrifies me.
"To be left alone on the tightrope of youthful unknowing is to experience the excruciating beauty of full freedom and the threat of eternal indecision. Few, if any, survive their teens. Most surrender to the vague but murderous pressure of adult conformity. It becomes easier to die and avoid conflict than to maintain a constant battle with the superior forces of maturity." |
Daniella
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June 2019
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