Full Freedom, Eternal Indecision, or Adult Conformity?

"To be left alone on the tightrope of youthful unknowing is to experience the excruciating beauty of full freedom and the threat of eternal indecision. Few, if any, survive their teens. Most surrender to the vague but murderous pressure of adult conformity. It becomes easier to die and avoid conflict than to maintain a constant battle with the superior forces of maturity." 
— Maya Angelou

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This quote hit really close to home. I feel as though I am walking that tightrope, or for those that know me we could refer to it as a slack line. We are all walking that line. As time goes by I see more and more of my Facebook feed being filled with weddings, babies, new homes, dogs, and a whole lot more Donald Trump than I would like. 

 Within my own form of silent rebellion, I could not follow society on this path. Mediocrity and conformity are just not in my vocabulary. Do I mean to say that anyone who gets married and has kids is a conformist? Hell no, if they are true to themselves and that is the path that aligns with their heart, by all means keep walking. Am I to say that is something I will never want? Also no, but I have my own timeline. My own path that I am certain is the scenic route, it's the usual route I take (I'm terrible with directions.) When we should question our decisions are when our gut, heart, and our minds are not in sync. If we are getting married because we are afraid of being alone, for financial security, or against our better judgement, its wrong. Are we settling for a job that is less than we deserve, that has nothing to do with our passions? Its wrong. Do we need to do this sometimes as a stepping stone on the way to our dream? Yes. The important thing is to never lose sight of what makes your heart sing, never be complacent, never settle for less. Head passionately in the direction of your dreams and make steps towards it--everyday. 

Promises I can make to myself and to those who walk with me at any point along my path is that you will never be bored, hopefully you are not in a rush or you will be eternally frustrated, you can try and plan all you want but we will not end up where you imagined, but usually it is somewhere better. We will probably end up in a deep conversation that ends only because eventually one of us has to go to bed. You will likely meet some of the most amazing people on the planet. We will be outside as much as New England weather will permit (New Englanders can only truly understand the meaning behind this statement).  I will probably get you lost, put you in a potentially dangerous situation, make us some new friends, or try to get you to jump off of something. You will learn, grow, explore, laugh--hopefully not cry (unless you need to get it out), one thing is for certain--it will always end with a story. I am a storyteller. I always have been. These are the things that make me who I am--not my job--not my education level, my pay grade, my bank account, my waist size, it is that which lies within us that drives us that makes us who we are, and nothing else.

So Maya (totally first name basis--I think she would be cool with it) is right. I would rather live in total freedom of eternal indecision than to let that part that lies within myself die at the feet of what society wishes me to be. At least I will know that my life was lived true to that which is really me. That I did not settle for less or good enough, that I lived true to myself, even if I fail. It is my belief that true happiness lies within the true expression of self, where what is within us is allowed to be released--unfiltered and raw.